The Unseen Threat

Despite my education in global security matters, I have been completely blind-sided by a threat that, for some of us, was right under our noses. I can only say that the Culture Blog of the San Francisco's SFGate.com should be renamed the War Room.

According to my preliminary research into this threat, the threat has been proliferated throughout the internet, in every variant from geriatric to pediatric. In the real world the threat is even more severe. Although I've only rarely encountered any enterprise dedicated to the proliferation and distribution of imagery and adornments for the threat, Google Earth tells me that there are quite a few, even in my geographical region.

Imagine, if you will, that this selfsame phenomena is appearing over the entire surface of the earth, that for some reason, perhaps related to the drive for sex and death, people are somehow drawn to the threat.

By my thinking, we need to completely re-evaluate our security posture. Our enemy in the immediate term is obviously Islamo-facist terrorism, because that's what the President has decided. However, we're going to need to be more worried about angels appearing in all of our populated areas, brandishing the holy wrath of God. If anything, this requires even more controls on our behaviors and activities. Suicide bombers are insidious enough, but having to deal with a supernatural entity that ignore the conventional laws of space to smite whoever is most befitting would be next to impossible without immediately implementation of draconian measures.

Stephen Colbert: The Greatest Living American?

In the midst of the engrossing culture wars brought to you every day by the selfless and professional 24-hour news media, there is one question that I would like to bring up, that I feel has been left to the wayside. Is Stephen Colbert a Great Living American or the Greatest Living American? I am, of course, referring to the man who coined what was chosen by the most prestigious American English organization, the American Dialect Society, as the most important new word of the year in 2005, 'truthiness.' Moreover, who, other than the Decider, has enough authority to call out an entire branch of the U.S. Government, as Stephen did, openly wondering whether or not Congress is a bunch of "wussies".

I'm sure that this is a question that is going to spread through the internet like Mao's prairie fire, so I'll leave it at that for now until later, but for now, let me just say that Stephen Colbert is obviously the Greatest Living American.